Church scribblings

Your ways are far above me
I can't get to where you are
You far surpass my furthest reachings
But you came down to make me yours

 And I am weak but you are strong enough to save me
I am lost, you're a burning light to guide me
In my lowliness your righteousness has covered my disgrace
Change me, make me wholly run to you

A Song I wrote tonight

I’ve seen the snowflakes fall on Jerusalem
I’ve seen a change fall over the hearts of men
 I’ve seen the old men wand’rin while the young men die
Leveled mountains try to reach the sky.

 **
 Darlings run while their sweethearts cry
Dreams forgotten turn their faces high
 Coasts we knew turn and wave again
And the deepest woods pull our hearts to them

**
But we are the stately few
We run amok
as the Titans do
Our hearts are longing for our lightning days
for ancient zephyrs to take us all away

 **
We’ll come again in the harvest sun
Conquer the fears of the lonely ones
 The sprites and the pharaohs have passed along
Their dust has paved all the roads we roam

not worth forgetting

There are certain things I don’t think I’ll ever forget. The word for water bottle in Hebrew, because I was thirsty on a dig and the Israelis I was working with told it to me. The word for bucket in Hebrew, because on the dig, every ten minutes everyone across the whole site was yelling it so we would do a line tossing the buckets up to where they could be emptied. You don’t forget things that people yell about and throw at you. Hadassah Rosen. 5 years old. Poland. Holocaust victim. Heard her name in Yad Vashem, the Holocaust museum in Israel. Major impact. 5 year olds have been killed many times. The impact goes on and on, we pray, regret, remember, and hold out hope.

Excerpt from my most recent support update letter...

I love being in service here with my brothers and sisters, but I am so excited to go for His glory. My dad’s been talking about how we are all to be goers or senders for missions, and when that gets mentioned there is a great stirring in my heart to be the one who goes. As much as I am enjoying this stage of my life, working with the kids, meeting new people and reaching out, serving here in Florida, I have a great love for what God is doing around the world and truly desire to use my giftedness in Spain. When I get to do photography, I feel like I am doing something that I was created to do, but I have a longing to use it in conjunction with ministry. I am still awed that God has set up this opportunity to serve Him and spread His name among the nations with media. God is truly abundantly good.

As Christmas comes, I’m meditating on Isaiah 53. It’s always amazed me how this chapter was written so long before Christ, and yet could have been written from the foot of the cross. John Wesley said that when he heard the Gospel his heart was “strangely warmed.” That is what I feel when I read this chapter with its rich promise of a savior. In the spirit of Thanksgiving past, I am overwhelmingly thankful for my Savior, and as I look forward to Christmas and celebrating the fact that God was moved by mercy and love and became a man to die for me I am particularly drawn to these verses.

Out of the anguish of His soul He shall see and be satisfied;
by His knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and He shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the many, 
and He shall divide the spoil with the strong,
 because He poured out his soul to death 
and was numbered with the transgressors; 
yet He bore the sin of many, 
and makes intercession for the transgressors.
(Isaiah 53:11-12 ESV)

They are a promise to those under the old covenant that redemption would come, to us they testify that Jesus’ work will triumph, that he WILL be satisfied and have His portion…a people for His own possession. This encourages me so much as I partake in the local church, worship Him, and look forward to serving Him in Spain. 

life

bought by the king
my conquerer sings
blood bought and protected
majestically saved
the old one's been broken
but still I hear his dying screams of
lust and fear and apathy
i fall to its sound torture often
but less and less as i get
closer to my maker redeemer's
joyous arms full of
peace and grace and satisfaction.

What is the color of repentance?

So they say black is the color of mourning and that joy comes with the morning. What then is the color of repentance? My best guess is that it is all the colors of the entire journey from the darkest midnight of grief to the most ebullient of sunrises.

Sometimes

Sometimes I get hungry for the beauty of a wild coastline. I want to get lost in the fog and stand there with the cold wind blowing in my face. I need the fierce beauty that is terrifying but still so full of overwhelming joy that the smile on my face will grow into a shout full of wonder and awe. I am overwhelmed that the God who created such a dangerous loveliness has reached inside my heart to make me His.