I grew up in a home where the gospel was consistently proclaimed and constantly lived out. From a very young age I was memorizing Bible passages, learning songs of praise to the Lord, and gaining a lot of head knowledge dealing with the Bible, God, and how He would have me live. Although I knew these things, it wasn’t until I was six years old that the Lord really brought me from knowing as fact that Jesus died on the cross, to realizing that I was a sinner who deserved eternal punishment because of my sin against the Lord and that putting my faith in His death on the cross to do what I couldn’t do was the only way for me to be saved. Even at that young age, God brought me to repentance, and I begged him to save me. I remember a week when every night I would be so afraid that God had not actually listened to my prayers, and when I was put to bed, I would beg him over and over to save me. My mom talked me through knowing my assurance in the way that God had changed my heart to desire Him and from that point on, God was faithful to begin changing me!
That He had really worked in my heart was evident in my conviction of sin, in my desire to read my Bible, and in my new responses to the proclaimed word when my dad (who has always been my pastor) would preach. I remember, at six years old, listening to a sermon on the throne room scene in the book of Isaiah and being in awe of the holiness of God. This is an attribute of His that I am still incredibly moved by and love to think about.
I was baptized when I was 7, excited to publicly declare my allegiance to Christ, and God has been faithful to consistently work in my sanctification. With each new year, and with stages of maturity He has taught me and impressed upon my heart new things, and I am so thankful that He is committed to my sanctification.
This sanctification process has not always been easy, I have had times, some more memorable to me than others, where I struggled with whether I truly believed in God and this was mostly born out of seeing my unworthiness to be His as He revealed more of my sin to me, but God brought me to my knees and answered these questions with Himself and I saw how firm the grip He has on my heart is. And I know that it was never anything in me, but solely His grace and powerful love to me in my sinfulness that accomplished my salvation and declares my justification.
The things that He has most recently been impressing on me are convictions of the importance of being an instrument to love people all around me, and how crucial this is to my witness and ministry, that we have been so loved, that we must be showing this degree of love to others. Another thing He is impressing me with is the importance of this love in and amongst a church body, and being committed to the Bride of Christ and loving each other in our communities, striving for maturity in our Saviour together.
I love the Lord, He has heard my voice, my prayers, and has a love that will not let me go.
