superman

today i thought about

how many hearts are

breaking at

any given time

and then i thought in my overwhelmedness

that i’m glad i’m not superman

because he can hear all of that and more

and how much my heart breaks

for those whose hearts are broken

already

and then i realized

that Jesus knows the broken hearted too

in a real way and deeper than

any figment of superhero imaginings

and whereas neither

superman or i

could actually fix a broken heart

Jesus

can make them completely

new.

runaway

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17

I have a picture in mind
I'm being lead in to a great wedding feast
My outfit is spotless
It's clean and brand new
The light around me glows with an
Incandescent quality
There is so much joy
And peace
But another picture presents itself
Inwardly as I see all this beauty around
I'm screaming at myself
"YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE"
The bridelike me sees the wedding food
Prepared to delicious perfection
But the being-reformed zombie corpse that's within me
Is trying to crawl on the floor scrounging up the most rotten foul scraps of imagination figments. 
Of things that I think will satisfy my hungers.
The zombie me is running full heat toward
The gates where I was carried in
Right after that Bridegroom started my heart.
The blood he caused to course through my veins
Is such a burning cleansing flow
That I try to avoid it
And the death that is still prevalent among my members cringes back and begins screaming and scrambling, trying to tear me apart 
Because clearly destruction would be better than this new foreign me that is being regenerated.
As I'm constantly running back toward that gate to the dung heap He dug me out of
The faltering beats of this heart that I didn't know existed
Keep stopping me knocking me down about face to the light that is changing the skin on my frame
When this happens with some slightly increasing rapidity
The glimpses of bride-me are clearer in mind
And although i'm running flat out for the door
He stops me and says "Death will not win any more."
And he carries me back to the feast
And day by day we repeat this retreat
But the other part I haven't told you about
He's taking the rock that he made start to beat
And he's cutting out chunks and it's starting to bleed
But the blood makes the next tiny part come to life
And each time he lets out his fierce warrior scream
He's dressing the kill that He gave a first life
And His song is a noble "here comes my bride."

Dear Girl

Dear girl,
Do you know that you are not incomplete?
Do you know that all you need
is the One who loves you forever and ever and ever?
Do you know that no matter the man
and no matter the time
and no matter the amount of children you may have
you will still be responsible to
love the lord your God with all your heart and soul
and your mind and strength
which means every fiber of your being?
Did you know that a husband will never satisfy you?
Did you know that you will always have to fight for contentment
and satisfaction in the one who deserves your soul.
The only confident joy we can have is when we are
running with wild abandon
toward our creator.
You have so much love to give, so give it.
You have so much life to live, so please go out and live it.
You were meant to be in relationships with everyone
whom God has put around you. Love them, pour out your life to them
for the One who poured His out for you.
I love love and I love marriage as much as any of us.
I hold that paradigm in highest regard
Jesus loved me and that is beautiful
Husbands and wives were meant to preach that beautiful gospel with
their love and commitment.
But even if I am never part of that earthly show
I'm a participant in the marriage of the Lamb.
This is the will of God, your sanctification,
not your earthly companion fixation.

flying over

What if the inner workings of the earth are a tree
and the canyons are marks of their roots reachingout
Clutching and straining to get to the sun
To grow up a tower to reach up to heaven
Fighting the clouds for control of the sky
Overwhelming the mesas that already died
With their thready needy arms of red
Flexing their fingers to push up again
Consuming our planet inside out

actually in love

I’m flying down this straightaway with the wind whipping me in the face

and I’m getting the bass confused with my heartbeats.

I can’t believe there are not more hearts beating

in the small speeding worlds around me known as cars for this

infectious fever that I’d like to call “Night Driving with the windows down."

Can you catch it?

It's where you see the ebullient lights flying by

and the bright headlamps of the cars behind you may actually

be the eyes of a pack of predators daring you to go faster, faster.

But there is more. As you focus to look through the maze

mapped out ahead with only your joy as your guide

you may begin to feel a smile spreading over your face.

If you let it get to the extreme of toothy, your soul may explode

out in a display of rainbowed mirth, only slightly discernible

at this point from the tendrils of hair

which the wind is caressing and playing with

around your face at 100 mph. 

Can you feel it?

It’s the screaming, tingling, dancing overflow of

getting to be here: alive and free.

Paper Airplanes (Or what they mean to me)

I'm only a paper airplane,

Crafted with clever design

Fragile and prone to be easily torn

Spiraling up through his air.

Launched for the joy of my maker

Carried on winds of His will

Unlike a paper airplane's breeze

My maker's will is strong

My altitude may rise or fall

His gale will bear me through

Unto the harbour he's prepared

With all my tears made new.

Jealous of the Stars {A Song}

I’m jealous of the stars because
They’ve seen your face far more than I
And I’m jealous of the girl who holds your hand
I’ve read the page that tells of love
and now and then I think about
how jealousy and love are not the same

How can I be expected to contain
All the things I feel inside when
There’s no rhyme or reason to your ways and I miss you all the time

I don’t know how or where or why
You stole my heart or how we’ll die
But you’ve got something mine still there with you
Please forgive me for the tears
I cried at night when missing you
I love you and I hope you’re doing fine

You stole my heart so i’ll steel my mind
And I’ll try to forgive you one last time
The words are easy but the rush is strong
No more jealousy I’ll love you ever long

Church scribblings

Your ways are far above me
I can't get to where you are
You far surpass my furthest reachings
But you came down to make me yours

 And I am weak but you are strong enough to save me
I am lost, you're a burning light to guide me
In my lowliness your righteousness has covered my disgrace
Change me, make me wholly run to you